


Devil Side

by sanjariti



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Angst, F/M, Super angsty, definitely listen to the song, did i mention its really sad and angsty?, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 04:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16033193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanjariti/pseuds/sanjariti
Summary: Who’s gonna save him now?





	Devil Side

**Author's Note:**

> just a note - i don't write new fics for this character anymore, i'm just reposting my tumblr fics onto ao3 so i don't lose my work! thanks for any and all feedback - it is much appreciated! <3333

You’d been together for months. Almost a year, really. Yet, every time he had a nightmare, some flash back to the past, he hid. Away from you. It wasn’t because Bucky didn’t trust you - he would trust you with his life in a heartbeat. It wasn’t because he didn’t love you; the man wanted to marry you the moment he heard the words ‘I love you’ fall from your lips.

It was because he was scared. Afraid of seeing everything good in his life rot to nothing, right in front of him. Losing you. Losing your love.

> _Run and hide_
> 
> _It’s gonna be bad tonight_
> 
> _Cause here comes your devil side_
> 
> _It’s gonna ruin me_
> 
> _It’s almost like slow motion suicide_
> 
> _Watching your devil side get between you and me_

You were in the kitchen of your floor, sipping from your coffee mug when you heard it. A blood-curdling scream down the hall.  _Bucky._  You almost dropped the mug as you raced to your bedroom, flinging the door open as you ran in. The sight brought tears to your eyes.

He was lying there, helpless. A sheen layer of sweat covering his torso and face, his face twisted in pain as he tightly grasped the sheets at his sides. You reached out, only to pull away when you heard him scream again. You fell back, your body hitting the ground in one swift motion.

Bucky opened his eyes, patting the empty side next to him. He shot up, his panicked eyes searching the room for you. Once he spotted you on the floor, crying, he scrambled down to your side.

“Doll, are you okay? Did, did I-I hurt you?” He said as he pulled away from you, tensing as he watched you cry. You reached up, pulling him down by the neck, so his body was resting on top of yours.

“Never.” You gave him a pained smile, but he saw right through it.

“Baby, what is it? What did I do?” All you could do was cry.

> _Still I want you, but not for your devil side_
> 
> _Not for your haunted life_
> 
> _Just for you_
> 
> _So tell me why I deal with your devil side_
> 
> _I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you_
> 
> _Who’s gonna save you now, who’s gonna save you?_

He picked you up, carrying you to the bed you shared, laying you down as gently as he could. He pulled the covers over your body, slipping under them as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. You wrapped an arm around his torso, sobbing right into his chest. He kissed your hair, mumbling ‘I love you’s  as he felt your body tremble.

“It’s okay, doll. It’s okay. You have me.”

“But do I have you?”

> _I can’t lie but I do miss those times_
> 
> _We were on a high_
> 
> _I thought it would never end_
> 
> _But you and I, we’ve come from the same long line_
> 
> _Good kids with a devil side, just going around again_

“What? What do you mean, baby?” He whispered the words gently into your hair, scared of your reply.

“Ever-every time I-I try to help you, with your nightmares,” A broken sob racks your body as you speak. “Every time, you push me away. I love you, James. I love-love you so much. Why won’t you let me help you?” 

You manage to look up at him, his baby blue eyes glassy as they meet yours. You reach up and cup his cheek, crying even more as he leans into your touch.

> _So tell me what I need to do_
> 
> _To get myself away from you_
> 
> _To keep myself from going down_
> 
> _All the way down with you_
> 
> _All the way down with you_

“I love you, Y/N. So much. So, so, so much.”

“Then let me help you, James. Please!” You whimpered the last word, feeling your sobs overtake your body once more.

“If I let you, I’m scared you’ll leave me, baby. I’m going to ruin you. I can’t do that, not to you.”

“I want you, James. Your past, your demons, they’re mine, too. I am here for you, James. I want you.” You pull him down into a desperate kiss, your hands holding his face, feeling his tears fall. He kissed you with so much need, so much love, it hurt.

> _I want you, but not for your devil side_
> 
> _Not for your haunted life_
> 
> _Just for you_
> 
> _So tell me why I deal with your devil side_
> 
> _I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you_
> 
> _Who’s gonna save you now, who’s gonna save you?_

“I won’t hurt you, Y/N. Never. I love you too much.”

“If you love me, you’ll let me help.”

“You have me, doll. Isn’t that enough?”


End file.
